How To: The Perfect Manicure

        To be honest, the only “man” I need is a manicure. There’s just something about a perfectly shaped, glossy coated nail that’s so rich feeling. Something along the lines of, “my life is so damn put together” and, “I’m a classy girl, but try me and I’ll claw your eyes out.” Do you follow? If not, then you probably have some sanity within you, so kudos to you. Still though, sane or not, follow these steps for a sickening manicure, trust me. Hell, you could probably follow these steps and give your dog a sickening manicure!


You will need:

  • nail polish remover
  • cotton pads
  • hand cream
  • cuticle pusher and trimmers
  • nail file/buffer
  • fake nails
  • nail glue


1. Remove any existing nail polish. I use a Sally Hansen nail polish remover and Quo cotton pads, which is available at any drugstore. If you don’t have nail polish on…well you’re ahead of the game, girl, so on to step 2 we go!


2. Apply any hand cream to the cuticles of your nails, and soak in a bowl of warm water for about 5 minutes. I recommend doing steps 2- for each hand separately so your cuticles stay soft and easy to work with on each hand. I do this step because I once went to get my nails done and the lady did this to my nails….I was shook! It really helps soften your cuticles and makes them soft and easy to remove during the next two steps.

3. Using a cuticle pusher, push back your cuticles. Apply a light amount of pressure – just not too much of you’ll hurt and aggravate the skin and cuticles around your nails! You can rub off the hand cream before pushing back the cuticles, but I personally keep it on until after I’m done pushing them back. Either way works.


4. Carefully, I repeat carefully, trim your cuticles with your trimmers. If it is something you do not like to do, or do not feel comfortable with doing, that it totally fine! I like how trimming my cuticles elongates my nail bed, and it really gives your manicure the full salon effect.


5. Wipe your nails dry and take your nail file or buffer. With very light pressure, buff the top of your nail. You do not want to do too much of this step or else it will thin your nails out and make them brittle. This step allows the glue to hold onto your natural nail really well so the fake nails have more longevity.

6.  It’s time to pick out the nails! Look for size accuracy more than shape accuracy – you can always change the shape of the nail with your nail file. My thumbs have a more squared base to them, so I usually have to file down the base of the fake nail into a squarer shape so it fits my natural nail well.


7. Starting with your pinkie fingers, and your thumbs and index fingers last, start gluing down your fake nails. Use enough glue so that the nail will be completely stuck to your natural nail, but not so much that the glue goes everywhere and sticks to everything. Remember that when you apply the fake nail and put pressure, the glue will spread out over the surface of your nail, so you don’t need to completely cover your natural nail in glue before applying the fake nail.


8. Add 2-3 coats of your favorite polish and 1-2 layers of a glossy top coat. Voilà! Now go out and rock (and Instagram)  those nails, you cool girl you.



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